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Dangerous vs. Postive Messaging for Girls & Women


We get too many mothers, often with young girls, coming into our offices wanting to lose that unrealistic 10-15 pounds - when their bodies are already in the healthy range already.  They eat healthy and exercise regularly, all labs are normal - yet they are plagued by wanting to be just a bit thinner.  What does that teach our girls?  

I don't know about you, but I certainly feel a Mama Bear coming out in me when I watch this clip.  Moms, Dads, Grandparents -- we must set the tone in our homes, and that tone must counter this bombardment of physical beauty being the ultimate attainment in life.  My daughter Hannah loves all things girly, and it's fun to be that with her.  So, I don't think that we need to avoid all things feminine.  And we cannot shelter our children from all of the media expsoure that is found in magines at the grocery store line or television commercials or endless weight loss commercials.  However, we can limit the amount that they are exposed to, and we can balance any negative influences out with positive messaging.  It is so important that we work hard to build healthy self-esteems in our young girls.

In addition to the advertisements, children are influenced by:

  • Having mothers concerned about their own weight
  • Having mothers who are overly concerned about their daughters' weight and looks
  • Natural weight gain and other body changes during puberty
  • Peer pressure to look a certain way
  • Struggles with self-esteem

Now the good news is that there are so many things that we can do to build a healthy self-esteem.  One big way is to have a healthy self-esteem as their mothers.  Let's start with ourselves!  Other ways we can off-set negative influences are:

  • Make sure your child understands that weight gain is a normal part of development, especially during puberty.
  • Avoid negative statements about food, weight, and body size and shape.
  • Teach your children about a balanced approach to eating which excludes calling foods "good" or "bad" but instead seeing them more as "sometimes" and "always" foods.
  • Allow your child to make decisions about food, while making sure that plenty of healthy and nutritious meals and snacks are available.
  • Compliment your child on her or his efforts, talents, accomplishments, and personal values.
  • Restrict television viewing, and watch television with your child and discuss the media images you see.
  • Encourage your school to enact policies against size and sexual discrimination, harassment, teasing, and name-calling; support the elimination of public weigh-ins and fat measurements.
  • Keep the communication lines with your child open.
  • Create fun memories around food by cooking, baking and enjoying a variety of foods and flavors.

For more information on healping to build self-esteems within yourself and your daughters, visit womenshealth.gov and girlshealth.gov.  Kudos to Dove and their Campaign for Real Beauty that gets all of us to stop, think and act. Let's be the women we want our girls to be, and build into them a strong self-esteem separate from their body image.

Updated December 31, 2016

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